Playing the victim (and playing it well)
A little past 7 AM on August 07, Tueday morning, as a southwest monsoon drenched the nation, Ms. Outstanding Congressman 2004-2009 made some waves herself by tweeting:
Save for the gloomy and foreboding tone, we might have let that one slip. After all, what are the chances that she is referring to *drum roll please* House Bill 4244? A majority of lawmakers had moved to end debates on the said bill and open the floor for amendments just the previous day. Cong. Magsaysay has been one of the more, shall we say, vocal opponents of the bill, claiming her stand is based not on religion or morality.
But how could anyone be thinking of the RH Bill at a time of grave calamity??? (More than you think, apparently. Gotta love the logic and reason on display here.)
Netizens immediately jumped into the fray, chastising the Zambales solon for her tweet.
Not one to shy away, Cong. Magsaysay then assumed her defensive stance and began crying foul, claiming the critics misinterpreted her tweet, which was *of course* a lament for the sad state of our forests.
Okay. We believe you. I mean, SRSLY U GUISE. She’s been so busy packing relief goods and coordinating rescue operations the whoooole day, she does not have time to worry about contraception and the wrath of God, okay? In fact, she positively resents any allegations to the contrary.
But with Twitter folk still hitting her left and right about getting to the root of the problem (root…deforestation…get it? Harhar), Rep. Magsaysay started to throw some punches of her own…at Budget Secretary Butch Abad, whom she claims has been holding funds hostage for the past two years.
Ah, okay. Favorite topic?
For those who are interested, the rest of the Magsaysay family hadn’t been sitting around twiddling their thumbs – oh no siree. They’ve been selflessly sacrificing their time and…what do we have here.
MMMMM. Jobo Rice. Best with a nice warm glass of ANONGSHITMO? Even if are not an elected official, as your mother has asserted several times, and just, you know, running for Congress in 2013, there is something inherently wrong with plastering your face all over relief goods. “Mga sinalanta ng bagyo! Ako si Jobo Magsaysay at ito ang biyayang ibibigay ko sayo. Sumamba sa aking paa! Halik! Halik sa lupa!”
And just like any momma bear, Mitos defended her (insensitive) (irresponsible) (epal) cub, stating that the rice is NOT from the National Food Administration nor, for that matter, from any other government agency because (and here we go again) hey oh! She doesn’t have her priority development assistance fund! She doesn’t have her priority development assistance fund! Wala daw talaga!
“Crab mentali!” (truly a rousing war chant for the history books) Is it *bad* to sell commercial rice with Jobo Magsaysay’s face all over it? I mean, he isn’t even a politician…yet. Come on guys. This a commendable effort.
I need to mop up all the sarcasm dripping from that paragraph. Hold on.
I make the tentative suggestion that perhaps the heavens are crying over her hypocrisy and lack of tact.
Since you seem so eager to engage citizens on the Internet (oh wait, wasn’t that you who blocked people on Twitter for debating you on the RH Bill?), we ask you this, dear Ms. Ma. Milagros Mitos Habana Magsaysay: