Hello, world! The Shit Keepers are back! Just in time for the campaign season, when the air is fresher and the garbage smells sweeter because the politicians are the one stinking up the atmosphere. Campaign season, you say? Well, dear readers, we make it clear: this is hunting season, and it is up to you if you become the hunter or the prey. We have no intention of being shot down by false hope and empty promises, so we’re taking potshots of our own. Top of the list…you guessed it. NANCY BINAY, COME ON UP!
This is Nancy Binay at the 2012 State of the Nation Address at the Batasang Pambansa. I’m pretty sure this is the closest that dear Nancy has been to actually doing something for this country.
And yet, what is this? We find dear Nancy on the ballot as a member of the United Nationalist Alliance (UNA) senatorial slate. Not just ON the slate–but LEADING IT! Did someone RSVP Toby Tiangco “regret to inform u cannot make it to senate in 2013 tnx 4 invite”? [Clue: Shmoey de Shmenecia III would like to focus on making money] Because we cannot for the life of us recall Nancy Binay doing anything…except being the daughter of Vice President Jejomar Binay.
WHY, NANCY, WHY? Was the great city of Makati too small for your ambitions? We here at ANONG SHIT MO? would like to get a copy of the resume Nancy is holding in the picture, so we can then proceed to use it as scratch paper–God knows it will be blank enough.
Nancy Binay graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Tourism at the University of the Philippines-Diliman. She served as personal assistant to her father during his term as mayor and for housing concerns after his election in 2010. The 39-year-old Nancy Binay has been part of UNA as deputy secretary-general. (source)
Thanks for clearing that up, Rappler! Must have been hard going through all her achievements and squeezing it all in one paragraph, GET YOUR EDITOR SOME CAKE, OKAY?
At least she has made her allegiances clear, supporting UNA’s “daang maganda” with her statements on “Black is beautiful!” UUUUMMMM, HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, GIRL. You are not black. You are not African-American. Black History Month just ended, girl. Stop offending people
with your face.
And can we please move on from this “Kay Binay, gaganda ang buhay” shit?
More like gaganda ang buhay…kung ikaw ay isang Binay. According to this article, dear Nancy is against the divorce bill because she thinks “the government should strengthen the family, not break it up”–yes, we definitely would NOT want to break up the ties that bind. Strengthen the Binay dynasty! Viva Binay!
One look at her Twitter bio and a cursory Google search, and it’s obvious what her angle is: “mom to 4 kids and wife”? Being reluctant to run but finally becoming convinced that it was for the good of the nation? Oh sweetie, you are no Cory Aquino. Again, stop offending people
with your face.
We would write more, but we have nothing else to go upon. As in, we literally ran out of things to talk about because she hasn’t done anything. She has nothing, guys. No public advocacy. No previous legislative experience. No major shining accomplishments in civic society. She wants you to vote for her because:
Yup, we’re out. We leave you with this:
And as always, we ask you this, dear Mrs. Maria Lourdes Sombilao Binay:
ANONG SHIT MO?
Related reading: A scathing op-ed on the Philippine Daily Inquirer which just about sums it all up.